"PARP!" Pssst! Do you know the story about Queen Elizabeth I (1533-1603) and the, er, farting courtier? One day, when bowing low to Her Majesty, the Earl of Oxford couldn't help but break wind. The poor man felt SO embarrassed that he left the court - and some say the country - for SEVEN years. Upon his return, after such a long absence, the first thing Good Queen bess said on seeing him was, "Lord, I had forgot the fart!"